We’re nothing like a ‘normal’ family…
We’re nothing like a ‘normal’ family… My husband, a Mexican man, and I, a Vietnamese woman, accidentally met at an Irish bar in Vancouver, Canada. We had to spend 2.5 years apart – he was in North America while I was in Europe – but I never regretted any of those uncountable days of missing each other and tearful goodbyes at the airport. He made me a much stronger person than I had ever been before, he became my best friend who I could always rely on, and he gave my heart a safe home. Our marriage journey started almost 2 years ago with a Las Vegas-style wedding – we decided to get married just 2 days before our small ceremony with a couple of friends whom we invited literally last minute. No stressful preparation, no expensive wedding costs, no long white dress, but also no family and other friends beside us. We spent our honeymoon phase separated, Miguelito finishing his PhD in Vancouver, and me finishing my Master’s degree in Marseille. When we both graduated, we moved to Boston to start our family and to start our life from zero once again. There are moments of sadness when I realize that I will never have the things that are indispensable parts of the other girls’ lives: wearing a beautiful white dress on your wedding day, having your daddy walk you down the aisle, having your mom taking care of you when your baby is on the way, celebrating important events of your beloved ones by their side, or just the littlest and simplest things as going out for a coffee and chatting with your friends who have known you forever. But life is all about making choices, and I have chosen to be happy with the love of my life.
We’ll never be like a ‘normal’ family. For us, visiting our relatives would mean to decide whether to fly to Mexico, the Czech Republic, or Vietnam. Raising our children would mean to decide which their first mother tongue will be, which elements of each culture will be passed on to them, where they will attend their kindergarten, primary school, high school, and the university, so that they could adopt the best from each place. There will always be cultural and personal clashes in our family, because we’re two quite different people, having been raised in quite different parts of the world. Miguelito is a Catholic, whereas I am an atheist. Miguelito grew up in the part of the world where you can always say what you think, whereas I come from the part of the world where you have to be careful of what to say so that you don’t ‘lose face’, or worse, lose a relationship. Miguelito likes putting lime into every kind of food, I like cooking with fish sauce. Miguelito sees details, I see big pictures. Miguelito prefers focusing on one thing at a time and doing it perfectly, I prefer multitasking and doing as many things as I can at the same time. Our opinions differ even in how we plan our holidays – Miguelito prefers an easy-going kind of holiday where you just relax and take things easy, whereas I prefer having everything planned.
They say that love is blind, but for us, love is when you can see things clearly, where you can stay yourselves, and where you are willing to respect each other.
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